Sleep training Clara, Day 1

**Disclaimer: I know there are a million different infant rearing methods out there. With different methods  come different (and strong!!) opinions. Our decision to sleep train Clara is important to us, and what works for us, but in no way does that mean I am judging your method should it look vastly different from what I describe below. Everyone makes decisions for what works best for THEIR family. The Mommy Wars has spiraled out of control, and at the end of the day, is just so unnecessary. We are different people, different families, and thus we make different parenting decisions. Want to nurse your baby until he is five years old? Great. Want to give your baby formula from day one? Do it.  You prefer to co-sleep with your baby for the first few years? Ok! Begin cry it out method from the day you get home from the hospital? Go for it. Rock your baby to sleep until he is in Kindergarten? Sure! You get the idea. All this to say I am not going to fill this post with a million disclaimers as I discuss our sleep training choice. I won't judge you. You won't judge me. Letting my baby cry, in hopes to help better her sleep quality, in no way means I do not love her with all my heart, nor does it mean I wouldn't risk my life to save hers. Because I would. And it doesn't mean that I am an emotionless mother who is not phased by listening to her baby scream for hours. Because I am phased. Yet in order to do this, and do it well, I had to set my emotions aside. The End.**

We have been considering sleep training Clara for a while now. It has always been important to us to help Clara learn how to self soothe, and for her to learn how to fall asleep, unassisted. Meaning we put her down in her crib, awake, and she is able to fall asleep on her own. Well colic kinda put a damper on any type of sleep training plan, and rightfully so. The last thing I need to impose on a super colicky baby is some type of "cry it out" method. The poor girl did enough crying already. She needed us to feel soothed, to feel calm, and we basically did anything possible to make it happen.

As our pediatrician suspected, starting at about three months, the colic began to disappear. I can boldly say that to date, at four months, Clara's colic is now a thing of the past. Sure she has a bad night here and there, but who doesn't?

So even while the colic had passed, over the last few months Brandon and I have developed a bad habit of rushing in to soothe Clara, during the night, as soon as she starts to stir. I mentioned this habit briefly in this post. We felt that by doing so she would not fully wake up and thus fall back asleep quickly. Her waking completely meant we would be up for a good two - three hours. She has never been the type to fall back asleep quickly. It is a process. Well our "plan" worked and she would typically settle within five -10 minutes of us rushing to rescue her. Mission accomplished. But what was also accomplished was one of us rushing to her side all. night. long. Or bringing her in our bed for the last few hours of the morning. Or going out in the living room, on the couch, in hopes that she would fall back asleep. You get the idea. While this routine felt like a dream compared to our colicky nights (because we were actually getting some consolidated sleep), we knew that eventually this habit would need to be broken. And we all know habits are more easily broken the earlier they are tackled.

So. . .  I spent all day Monday, Labor Day, reading up on sleep training and developing my action plan. We are basing our sleep training plan off of Marc Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. The book gives many options and samples of sleep training (not all involve cry it out, or crying at all for that matter). We are choosing the "cry it out/extinction" method. While the "cry it out/gradual extinction" or the "maybe cry/check and console" options might provide less emotional trauma for us as parents, I knew it would take that much longer for Clara to "get it."

I knew we had to go big or go home.

Weissbluth suggests that post colicky babies have the hardest time with sleep training and experience the most night awakenings when compared to non colicky babies. (Which is why the extinction method is suggested, as the check and console method is more confusing for the post colicky baby, since the parent spent SO much time during the colicky weeks soothing). 

Oh joy.

Let the fun begin.

(I will be documenting each day as it unfolds. I apologize in advance for these super boring posts, but it is the easiest way for me to keep track of how Clara responds to the training. At the end of the training, who knows how long this might be, I will do a summary of some tips and/or things I could have done better, you know, since hindsight is 20/20)

Day 1: 9/4/12

• Clara woke for the day at 6am 
• 7am feeding 
• We played for a while then I started our soothing routine (to prepare her for nap #1). For us this means: going into Clara's room, cuddling, and singing a few songs. Then I lay her down in her crib and say something like "I love you sweet girl, have a good nap." I put her paci in, cover her with a blanket, and leave the room. 
• She was calm for about 4 minutes and then enter crying, which turned to screaming. I let her scream for 1 hour. 
• At 9am I go in and pick her up. Repeat soothing routine. She calmed immediately and looked oh so sleepy. I laid her back down, awake, and within 15 minutes she was asleep. No crying. At. All. She slept for 2 hours. (She experienced several natural awakenings during this nap but was able to put herself back to sleep). 
• Feeding at 11:15, and then we played until it was time to prepare her for nap #2.
• 12:50pm - began soothing routine for nap #2. Laid her in crib at 1pm. Immediate screaming. She screamed for 1 hour. 
• At 2pm I go and pick her up. The poor girl is hoarse and covered in sweat from crying so hard. She immediately snuggles under my chin and acts so so tired. I repeat soothing routine and laid her back in crib. She cooed softly for a few minutes and was asleep by 2:05pm. No crying. Slept until 3:30pm. 
• 3:30pm feeding 
• Played and read books until 5pm. Was not sure if she would take a brief nap or not, so I put her in her swing with music and at 5:15pm she fell asleep. I turned off swing but left her there and she woke at 5:50pm. Success! A 35 minute power nap to get us to our earlier planned bedtime! (I knew bedtime needed to be around 8pm as her waking a few minutes before 6pm means 8pm is hitting the two hour of wakefulness limit - all this explained/discussed in the book). 
• 6pm feeding
• 7:20pm - start bedtime routine which is bath time, lotion, books, bottle, bed. 
• 7:45pm last feeding before bed
• 8:00pm - bedtime. NO CRYING. She went right down to sleep without making a peep.
• 11pm - woke up, started crying. Gave her first (and what ended up being the only) night feeding. 
• 11:15pm - burped, changed diaper and put back in crib. She screamed, and I mean screamed, from 11:15pm-1:25am. Two hours and ten minutes of screaming. Wow is all I can say. 
• 1:25am - 6am - slept like a champ. The book suggests controlling the child's wake up time and starting the day at either 6am or 7am to ensure a good first morning nap, and to help set the child's sleep schedule. (So no going to get baby before 6am or waking up baby by 7am if not already awake)
• 6am - she's awake and happy! run in to my precious baby!!! 

So here we are on Day 2. To Be Continued. 

Did you follow any type of sleep training program? Any helpful hints you want to pass on? We are all ears!