On two kids under two. . . aka the comedy that is getting out the door by 7:45am

So last week was the first week totally, 100% on my own with both girls. Yes, Camille was three weeks old and I do understand how fortunate I am/was to have had so much help those past three weeks. Until then, I was not allowed to drive or lift Clara at all, due to restrictions associated with the c section.  So up until that point, Clara was spending the night at my parents a lot (b/c Brandon leaves early for work and I wouldn't have been able to lift her out of bed in the morning, lift her to her high chair, etc) and then they would bring her over every day so I could get some time with her. Or, she would sleep at our house & I would have help come first thing in the morning. On the weekends she would be home with us, since Brandon would be around to help with Clara's care.

Remember. . . she is aproximately 23 pounds and doesn't yet walk. :)

That said. . . So last Thursday. I was a little very nervous going into last Thursday. Clara has speech therapy at 8am, which meant we have to be in the car by 7:45am. 7:45AM. It is truly crazy how long it can take to get out the door with a toddler and a newborn. I am sure I will get the hang of it over time. Please just tell me this is so. But for now. . .  hello nursing, feeding, pumping, cleaning up massive amounts of Camille's spit up, changing approximately 500 diapers, cleaning more spit up, packing a bag the size of my house,  cleaning more spit up. . . I think you get the idea.

Oh and not to mention I still hadn't quite figured out how to operate our double stroller (aka a stroller the size of Texas) so I was toying around with just how I was going to unload two babies and get them up to Clara's appointment. . . on the 3rd floor of Texas Children's therapy bldg.

Do I put Camille in the Bjorn/sling and Clara in the umbrella stroller?

Leave Camille in the single stroller in her infant seat, push it with one hand, and carry Clara on my hip?

Suck it up and figure out how to use and haul the double stroller? Nope. . . we got no time for that this morning. 

Carry both babies simultaneously? Jk. Kind of.

Decisions. Decisions. Fueling this decision was four hours of sleep the night prior. Four hrs total. Less you think I meant consecutively. You're funny. Eight hours total in, what was then, the past 48 hours. Not complaining. I'm really not. Just giving the facts. Because the facts are important to understand my frame of mind at that moment. And yep, I pretty much looked like this woman right here. No shame. 

source

Anyways, I loaded us up (let's not mention I had not showered in 5 days, for real, oh my goodness. Those that know me well know that I certainly do not shower everyday but really, FIVE DAYS ARE YOU KIDDING ME???) and we headed out!

In the rain. . .

Because of course in the rain. . . and of course I didn't think to stash an umbrella in my car. How would I carry an umbrella anyways when carrying a toddler on my hip and pushing a stroller with my other free hand (yep - went with that option)? So really. . . I didn't feel too bad about not having an umbrella. 

And Clara lost a shoe on the way from car to the bldg. . .

And Camille was crying the entire time. . .

Which made Clara cry the entire time. . .

Which made me get all anxious and sweaty and nervous (which is not good when you haven't showered in five days) because both my girls were crying and people were looking at me like "Seriously lady can you not calm your crying children???". . .

But alas, we made it there, only 6 minutes late, crying and all.

So I had considered this a win.

Until both girls managed to spit up all over the therapy play mat. As in, the therapist had to clear all the toys, wad up the mat, and go get another fresh one. I am pretty sure Clara hasn't spit up in like, oh, 12 months, but of course on this morning. Because of course.

So for this week. . . I will learn how to use the double stroller. And pack an umbrella. And make sure my daughters shoes are securely attached before leaving our vehicle. And do whatever I can to help minimize the spit up.

Oh, and take a shower. You're welcome.

This would be me in the pic below. . . except I don't own a dog. And I won't be wearing a dress anytime soon. . .

source 

Weekend Links 2/7/14

This was the first week that I tag teamed the girls totally solo. My oh my. There should be an entire post dedicated to the craziness that is getting a newborn and toddler out the door for an 8am speech therapy appointment. More on that next week. . .

But for now, some weekend link love for ya. . .

Life
My word for the year is NO - RATM
In the nick of time - True Worth (Cannot imagine the emotions this mom is experiencing. Will you please read her words and join in prayer for this family?)
What you can do when life's storms hit - Dawn Camp via (in)courage
Don't grow weary mamas - Liz Griffin via Inspired To Action

Eating Disorder/Mental Health/Self Esteem
Recovery is every day, every moment - Surviving Anorexia
How to respond to rude or inappropriate remarks - The Sensory Spectrum
The sky is (not) falling: Setting the record straight on the so called eating disorder epidemic - ED Bites

And a pic from our little blogger meet up last night. Erika and Matt are in town, so of course a Mexican food get together was in order! And yes, I braved an evening out with both girls! A few other bloggers were there, including Amanda, but we didn't think to snap a pic until right before the last of us were leaving. So fun!

And because I can't leave without sharing a few pics of my littlest babe. . .

Don't let her calm and collected look deceive you. . . girlfriend hates herself a bath

Tummy time which quickly turned into nap time. . . totally conked on her own after a few minutes

Happy Friday!

Weekend Links 1/31/14

Life
Stupid Vs. Cancer - The Art of Simple
The questions that will save your relationships - Glennon Melton via The Huffington Post
The Day I Stopped Trying To Be Superwoman - Crystal Paine via (in)courage
50 tips for new moms - as shared by you - Lisa Jo Baker (love, love this list!!)

Eating Disorder/Mental Health/Self Esteem
Controversy: The Nenuco Doesn't Eat Doll Promotes Anorexia? - www.ivillage.com
Resolution 2014: A Year Without Dieting - www.ivillage.com
Plus size barbie on modeling site sparks debate over body image - Huffington Post
8 types of negative thinking - Surviving Anorexia (When I was deeply struggling with my ED, I was a total "all-or-nothing thinker.")

And just because I'm back in the stage of "I can't stop taking pictures of my sleeping newborn & her silly faces. . . "

Happy weekend!

Clara 20 months

Clara turned 20 months old on January 2, 2014! Time keeps on passing us by. . . quicker than I would like to admit. Seems to be the case every month, for every parent, no?

So what's going on in Clara's world at 20 months? She currently has therapy four days a week (OT 2x week, ST 1x week and ECI home therapy 1x week) and she also attends a little Mothers Day Out Program 2x a week (per recommendation of each and every therapist she sees on a regular basis). She is one busy girl, but is making great, great strides. We are so proud of her!

I'll let the following videos do most of the talking. . . And yes, I pretty much cry any time I watch these.

She is learning how to walk behind a walker & is showing more and more bravery in her steps. She hasn't taken a step unassisted yet, but we are hopeful it will happen. A few times she has been cruising around our ottoman and, in an attempt to get to the couch, let go and balanced for a few seconds prior to falling down.

We been working hard on teaching her how to use a sippy cup. She's getting the hang of a straw cup slowly but surely! She also held her bottle by herself and lifted it to her mouth FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. See below. (Still using the bottle some as we transition fully to a sippy cup).

We have also been working with her on how to use a fork. She successfully got it to her mouth once!!  Did you know that for toddlers a fork is easier to teach, before teaching how to use a spoon? Therapist enlightened me on this and it's proving true thus far! For some reason I always thought opposite.

Also been spending lots of time outdoors on the trampoline this month. . . she loves it!

(That's my dads voice in some of the videos just FYI - for those of you thinking that it doesn't sound like Brandon, ha!)

Other areas of development:
She is (now) a rock star eater! She will eat pretty much anything we give her, with the exception of meat. She even ate a pb&j and grilled cheese sandwich recently. We still have to cut everything in tiny bites, and hand them to her a few bites at a time, but don't care because she is eating regular food!

Her glasses are proving to be a great decision. We truly believe one of the reasons she is coming so far in different areas, simultaneously, is due to her improved vision.

She has started making more sounds/noises. I wouldn't call it babbling, but it is encouraging to hear her be more vocal in general. We are working on baby sign language and a few times she has signed "more" and "all done." Other signs we try to use frequently are "milk, ball, swing, mommy, daddy, help, blanket, sleep, bath and eat." Her therapist has started experimenting with an augmentative electronic device. Clara has done well with it so far, so this might be something we implement in the near future. Many kids with Cohens Syndrome have such a device to help them communicate.

Oh, and she became a big sis this month!! She is pretty much unfazed by Camille, unless, heaven forbid, Camille starts crying and then Clara has a meltdown (the noise. . . a sensory thing). So. . . it's not uncommon for both kids to be crying at once. Which pretty much breaks my heart every single time, since I am still not allowed to lift/pick up Clara (due to the c section recovery). I am sure Clara will become desensitized over time, but I'd be lying if I said this issue isn't just a little overwhelming/heartbreaking all at once.

Checking out her little sis . . .

Adventures:
Not too many in our near future (hello life with a newborn) but we "met" a family that lives in Katy, Texas who also has a 20 month old daughter with Cohen Syndrome. How amazing is that? We are both members of a FB group for parents with a child who has Cohens. We have messaged back and forth quite a bit, and we hope to meet them, in real life, sometime over the next few months. We cannot wait!

Until next time. . .

On pregnancy weight gain & an ED past

I have had several women email and ask specifically how I was able to healthfully deal with the weight gain that comes with not only one, but now two, pregnancies. I have hesitated writing on this topic because honestly, it really was a non issue for me. And for that I am beyond thankful.

I know this is not the case for many women who are in recovery, or even for those who consider themselves "fully recovered."

During the time spent in therapy, while simultaneously pursuing fertility treatments to get pregnant the first time around, this very topic is something my therapist and I discussed and worked on, in order to mentally prepare for what would come in the form of extra pounds.

Because let's face it. . . for someone who had worked SO, SO HARD to gain a significant amount of weight, the thought of adding on an additional 25-30+ pounds on top of an already established healthy goal weight, can be downright scary. Terrifying actually.

Thus. . . prep work was needed.

And it worked. No doubt. When I got pregnant with Clara, and Camille for that matter, I was at a normal BMI based on the chart below. And for both pregnancies, without being overly restrictive or overly indulgent, I gained right around 30 pounds each time.

source 

My therapist helped me shift my mindset and thus my mental focus during those nine months was WHERE the pounds were going. I was not gaining weight because my diet was spiraling out of control. I was gaining weight because I was growing a baby. A human being was depending on me to grow, thrive and survive. And with that in mind, I knew I needed to give it my best effort. 

Pregnancy weight gain does not = I am getting fat. 

Pregnancy weight gain = I am using my body, that God has entrusted me with, to provide proper nourishment to this teeny tiny baby. This teeny tiny baby that is depending on ME, each and every day of pregnancy, to ultimately make an appearance in this world. 

source

We also walked through charts like the one above, to see just how the pounds break down during a pregnancy. 

So while this sounds short and sweet, I know in reality, it is not a short and sweet process.

It takes time.

It takes work.

It takes a lot of mental preparation. A lot. 

And for some, like myself, it takes months of assistance from a therapist who can help work towards a healthy mindset of pregnancy weight gain. So that when a pregnancy does occur, the foundation has been laid, and instead of fretting each and every pound that creeps on, one can sit back and enjoy the wonder of a changing body and the growing of a human life.

Has anyone had experience with this? Did you struggle mentally and/or emotionally when gaining weight during pregnancy? What helped? What didn't? Please share. 

Weekend Links 1/24/14

A few links for your weekend reading, from around the world wide web. Enjoy!

Life
When your day is interrupted - The Art of Simple
I miss my actual life - Jen Hatmaker
Upside Down Thinking - Writing Chapter Three
A love letter: To all the tired mamas everywhere - Lisa Jo Baker
The difference between political correctness & community - Life Rearranged

Eating Disorder/Mental Health/Self Esteem
Build yourself a support team - Surviving Anorexia
Not just small adults: eating disorders in young children - ED Bites
The Thin Ideal and Anorexia Nervosa: Case in Point - Dr. Sarah Ravin (I think this is such an interesting case and agree that the thin ideal really impacts us as a group of people, whether one is in recovery or not!)

And because I couldn't leave without posting a few more pictures of both my babies. . .

Lots of baby snuggles and swaddling going on in this place. . . 

 Clara having fun with her aunt and cousin on the trampoline. . . Love the cousin hand holding. 

My girls. . . at one day old

My two girls

Each on the day of their birth

Clara on the left: 5/2/12

Camille on the right: 1/14/14

At first glimpse of Camille during the C-Section, I thought she looked exactly like Clara did at birth. The nurse, who had met Clara earlier in the hallway, even exclaimed after seeing Camille, 

"Oh my goodness, she's a Clara mini-me!!"

But after that first day, I began to see some distinct differences in physical features,

and most family members agree.

What do you think?

Look a-likes? Not so much?

Happy Wednesday!